Summary: “The opposite of being a victim is being autonomous.”
Being in the victim mode of behavior is an ineffective way of resolving problems. The autonomous mode of behavior is a good alternative for the victim mode.
A behavior mode is a person’s state of mind and the behavior associated with that state of mind. Some behavior modes are almost always unproductive. If you become aware that you are in an unproductive mode, switch to a corresponding mode that is productive and you will typically produce much better outcomes.
If you are in the victim behavior mode (feeling powerless, defensive, whiney, complaining, resentful), switch to the autonomous behavior mode (reclaiming your power and control over your circumstances, taking responsibility for your situation). A person who is autonomous feels free to make their own choices and also feels in reasonable control of their circumstances. In other words, it’s the opposite of feeling like a victim.
Also keep this in mind if you are dealing with someone in the victim mode. If at all possible, help them reclaim their power and feel more in control of their circumstances. A good way to begin is by listening and making them feel fully heard.
If you find yourself in the victim mode, convert any negative feelings into concrete positive steps you can take, no matter how small, to begin moving away from victimhood to autonomy.
Staying in the victim mode is the equivalent of finding yourself in a hole and asking for a shovel so you can dig deeper.
Switching from the victim to the autonomous behavior mode (or helping someone do so), is a great way to joyfully participate in life.
Joyfully participate in life today…Chris