Summary: “Help people learn to solve problems, don’t solve problems for them.”
Being in the rescuer behavior mode is an ineffective way of resolving problems. Being in a coaching behavior mode is a good alternative for being in the rescuer mode.
A behavior mode is a person’s state of mind and the behavior associated with that state of mind. Some behavior modes are almost always unproductive. If you become aware that you are in an unproductive mode, switch to a corresponding mode that is productive and you will typically produce much better outcomes.
Rather than helping or teaching people to solve their problems, rescuers try to inappropriately intervene and solve problems for them.
Rescuers are often well-meaning people, but by attempting to solve problems for others, they enable continued unproductive behavior on the part of the person they are supposedly trying to help. They prolong feelings of powerlessness and keep the person they are trying to help from feeling and, in fact, being autonomous.
Remember, in sports contests coaches cannot go on the field or court and play the game. Coaches must stay off the field of play and get things done through others by teaching those they are coaching how to play the game well. Good coaches energize and empower people.
Being a rescuer sounds noble, but do not try to rescue someone else if it enables their continued unproductive behavior. And do not allow rescuers to enable your unproductive behavior.
Being a coach is a good way to joyfully participate in life and help others do so.
Joyfully participate in life today…Chris